The Theory of Everything- Review


Directed by: James Marsh

“A wonderfully put together film, coupled with a phenomenal performance by Eddie Redmayne.”

I have never been a dab hand at science, or anything for that matter. The only really good impression I can do is of a man with no talent. So when buying a ticket to see James Marsh’s the Theory of Everything, I was a trifle concerned. I assumed that even the most layman explanation of one of Stephen Hawkins’s ideas, would’ve left me scratching my head wondering when the staff were going to hand me a Winnie the Pooh colouring book. I braced myself for the moment I would be handed some crayons, and ask politely to wait in the corner, until the biopic of one of the world’s greatest minds had finish. I’m pleased to say that this film is neither baffling, confusing, or boring. It is in fact brilliant.

Based on the life of the great physicist Stephen Hawking, this is a wonderfully put together film, coupled with a phenomenal performance by Eddie Redmayne. It’s a performance that may just seal the deal of an Oscar. Starting in Hawkins’s early school years where he meets his sweetheart Jane, (Felicity Jones) the couple seek to battle Stephens debilitating disease-motor neuron syndrome (MS). Both Redmayne and Jones give a wonderfully evocative and convincing performance that, on numerous occasions, draws heartbreaking light on living with MS. Redmayne acts the role of an MS sufferer so convincingly, that you completely forget he’s an able-bodied actor.

As Stephen Hawkins’s story is told over the years, the film does a sterling job of both outlining his life and his work in a comprehensible and coherent way. There are no moments in the film where the pacing seems to drag. It’s also eager to show the achievements Hawking has made, despite his crippling battle with MS.


Whether you already possess a wealth knowledge on Stephen Hawking or not is irrelevant, and wont mar the enjoyment if you (like me) don’t. The filmmaking is solid as are the acting performances, and provides an interesting insight into one of the world’s greatest physicists.


Luke H


Absence makes the heart grow fonder (or at least more accepting of abandonment)

Picklepants cuppa1Hello there! I know I bet you never thought you’d have another update from little old us! All the apologies in the world would not suffice for such a long absence but know that I am truly sorry that you have had such a drought of our amazingly witty, insightful and entertaining writing.

What’s that?

You didn’t even notice?


I mean I appreciate the honesty but still.

Well fuck it! I can’t stay mad at you. I will work harder than ever so that things like this never happen again. Mark it in your calendars! 2015 is now THE YEAR OF THE PICKLE! (Don’t worry that’s just a working title.) Aaaaaanyway, this site may start to seem a bit different but please never fret we will still aim to bring you great reviews and discussions but now just in a more accessible way. You may even see more rants here and there. And I don’t mean little shy annoyances but fully fledged rampages!

So without further ado I welcome you to PicklePants. Come in, leave your shoes by the door and I’ll pop the kettle on.

PicklePants’ not so much review, but major MAJOR rant- Every Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer film.


“Watching one of Friedberg’s or Seltzer’s hideous monstrosities is like bowl surgery without pain killers.”

I’ve been going through a spat recently of watching films that are so bad they’re good, some could even rather ironically be dubbed a cult classic. Films such as Birdemic, Megashark Vs Giant Octopus, and sharknado fall into such a category. They are bad low budget, badly made, badly acted films, which know they’re crap and so don’t take themselves so seriously. In short, these films are just a bit of fun. Then there’s a Friedberg Seltzer film.


My original intention was to do a review of the “eagerly anticipated” Birdemic sequel, when by chance I happened to stumble across a film titled “Meet The Spartans.” This film has indeed been directed and produced by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer- the same people who brought Epic Movie, Disaster Movie and God knows how many other films with the name Movie in the title. Clearly there has been no creative expense spared in naming their works. Nevertheless these films, despite their varying focuses, all share one similar thread. They’re completely and utterly awful. Each film had little to nothing in the way of a coherent story, and did nothing more than out of context spoof references to other films, topping it off with gags that made a terminal illness look like a leading act on “Live at the Apollo.”


Taking this into account, I didn’t hold high (if any) expectations for Meet the Spartans, but still I tried to brave it. So on one particularly rainy day, I grabbed a packet of pickled onion Space Raiders crisps- that were reduced from one pound to a more competitive 75p, and fired up the film. I expected linear plot, crude and badly written jokes, and more inane out of context references than I could shake a Space Raider at. What I actually experienced was unrelentingly torturous 90 minuets of sheer eye and cranial agony. Watching this movie was like having my brain sodomized by Quasimodo’s afterbirth. Where do I begin with this truly dreadful excuse of a film? For starters, there was no plot. It was just a string of (surprise surprise) badly done movie references, terrible dialogue, all as expected and worse. I didn’t think it possible, but this movie really was everything I had expected and less. There were cheap jibes about famous celebrities, random ideas being pulled out of nowhere (which included imitation Judges of American Idol judging a man kicking a singer into a pit.) It really was a pile of bo**ocks. Every terribly acted word to fall from the casts mouths were strained and so unfunny, I wept as I thought of all the wonderful things I really could be doing with those precious 90 minuets rather than watch this tripe. Self harm and genital mutilation seemed preferable to this completely unbearable film. Not only were the spoofs bad, but also there was an abundance of awful product placement, which was gratuitously slapped into the film to try and make it funny. In Meet the Spartans I’m don’t think Friedberg and Seltzer were even trying. In one scene when they were describing the evil Xerxes emperor (which is stolen from the film 300) they cant even be arsed to describe him with any form of humorous wit. They instead sum him up by stating that “He looked like the fat guy from Borat.” Rest assured watching this film is a truly woeful experience.


My faith in the world has also dropped significantly since seeing this film when I heard that it was a financial success, grossing $80,000,000 in America and thus rendering it a huge success. Many of their sales came from people who saw the movie AND brought the DVD. Who would buy such a film? A film so bad it is ranked in IMDB’s list of “100 worst films ever made.” A film so bad that there have since been numerous petitions for the Director’s careers to end, some even going as far as to wish for them to die from Anal related illnesses!


My advice to anyone who is offered to see a film- If the names Jason Friedberg or Aaron Seltzer appear anywhere on the movie, run. Just run.





Watching one of Friedberg’s or Seltzer’s hideous monstrosities is like bowl surgery without painkillers. Do not watch under pain of death.





The Bumper B3ta Book of Sick Jokes QUICKPICKLE

The Bumper B3ta Book of Sick Jokes

Compiled by Rob Manuel


“There are jokes, there are rude jokes and then there’s this…Sick Jokes.”


Have you ever wondered what’s black and blue and afraid of sex? Or perhaps you’ve wanted to know what’s got one ball and f***ks prostitutes? If so, then “Sick Jokes” is for you. Compiled by Rob Manuel, this nifty book I’m all but certain is perfect literature to share with the grandkids by the fire.


The book is simple enough to navigate and find the perfect joke to share with the family around the dinner table. It is divided into sections titled “Celebrity and news events, Sex and shit, Religion and Racism, Illness and Mortality.” There is a final section dubbed “Jokes with no home” containing various miscellaneous subjects from one liners to hippies, with some animal cruelty thrown in.


There are jokes, there are rude jokes and then there’s this…Sick Jokes. This is quite possibly one of the most morally bereft books on the market; with many of the gags leaving you laugh with great guilt or wince in disgust.  It really does say the unsayable. Topics vary greatly meaning that there is something for everyone and every inappropriate occasion. Stevie Wonder, menstruation, misogyny, Paedophiles, chavs, ginger people, Buddists, the Welsh, Muslims, old people, AIDS, Disability, dead babies and of course Hitler, are all mentioned in this book. The joke book also includes obscene drawings and downright disgusting poetry, some of which involves Jack and Jill, oral sex and vaginas falling off elderly woman.




There is no denying that this book is requires a rather “particular” sense of humour and is not recommended for the faint-hearted. Some of the jokes within are stomach churning and really not pleasant to read let alone tell! However, if you want a joke book telling of the difference between an onion and a dead hooker, then this is the book for you

Available at all good online retailers.


Luke H.

The Grand Budapest Hotel Review

The Grand Budapest Hotel



“A charming, funny, and profoundly eccentric film”

The Grand Budapest Hotel is a comedy drama written and directed by Wes Anderson and inspired by the writings of Stefan Zweig. The film recounts the adventures of an eloquent and charismatic concierge named Gustave H. (Ralph Fiennes) who runs the legendary “Grand Budapest Hotel” amidst two great wars. To accompany Gustave on his adventures is his dutiful lobby boy Zero Mustafa (Tony Revolori), who soon becomes Gustave’s most loyal friend. The story centres on Gustave’s inheritance of a priceless work of art by one of the guests who, shortly after becoming infatuated with him, dies and leaving the painting in his possession. The rest of the family take hum bridge to this decision and try by any means necessary to get the painting back. Aware of this tricky situation, Gustave decides that the best course of action is to steal his own painting and thus set sail a series of events, which sees Gustave end up in prison over the suspected murder of the recently deceased guest.

The Grand Budapest hotel is a film brimming with innovative and clever Ideas, which help this film to stand out from the rest. The plot for example starts in the present, moves into the past, then even further back in history to where it all started. In the opening of the film, a teenage girl approaches a monument to a writer in a cemetery. In her hand she is carrying a memoir written by the author regarding a trip to that he once made to “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” Here the film then cuts to the hotel which has clearly fallen on hard times due to the war, with the place being under furnished and the guests few. From here the film follows the author as he explores the hotel and meets with an elderly man who happens to be the owner. From here the elderly man then begins to recount the story of the Legendary Gustave H. (a former concierge of the Grand Budapest.) From here the film then cut to where a majority of the story takes place, during the life of Gustave. Essentially it’s a story within a story within a story. Storyception.

This unique narrative approach also has a profound effect on the way in which the film is made. Clever work with the cinematography of the film has given the landscape a two-dimensional look about it, to give the impression that the setting is an illustration in a book. This charming feature pays homage to the fact that the entire film is in essence a story coming to life.  It is all done beautifully well.

The acting throughout the film is solid. From Fiennes giving a convincing performance of a concierge serving the upper classes, to Defoes rather creepy portrayal of a “family hitman,” there were no characters within the story I felt were stilted or uninteresting.  Many of the characters within also had strange or otherwise amusing mannerisms that served to further bring alive the story as it transpires.

However, this film isn’t without its pitfalls. At times the rather libertine structure of film caused some parts of the plot to not fit together comfortably, and consequently making it seem as if events and dilemmas are being pulled out of thin air. This is at it’s most notable point towards the end of the film, when the story of Gustave seems to just come to a very abrupt halt as the story claws its way back up to the present. Regardless, it is still a charming, funny, and profoundly eccentric film that has been done so brilliantly, that these pitfalls wont detract from this otherwise terrific film.



A creative and innovative piece of filmmaking, backed by a solid cast and colourful plot- It is almost reminiscent of a Monty Python film